Get Your O-Zone Back

By Science Correspondent Keith Powermax, pictured left

He’s best known for gunging embarrassing teachers and parents on Get Your Own Back, but national slap headed treasure Dave Benson Philips has blasted off from the world of kids TV and launched a new career – as a rocket scientist!

A source close to DBP revealed yesterday, “when Get Your Own Back finished in 2003, Dave was at a bit of a loose end. As it stood, his experience would only ever get him a job where he could screech loudly, count things in baskets, laugh, gunge people, screech loudly, run around, and pull a big lever.  With jobs like that being few and far between these days, he decided to re-train”.

It is rumoured that Benson Philips was drawn to rocket propulsion after witnessing the scene in A Grand Day Out where Wallace and Gromit run away from the robot on the moon, and, after becoming frustrated with the shoddy home workmanship of the man/dog combo, claimed that with the right training he could do a far better job.

“Dave immediately enrolled in a course at his local technology college”, the source continued. “Within two years he had become a fully qualified rocket engineer and been offered the gaffer’s job at NASA”.

As top dog, Dave is able to pour all NASA resources into building his design for a new Multi Stage Rocket. And while only boffins working for the space agency are privy to Dave’s plans, we managed to get some info out of a brain box taking a lunch break.

“Well, I’m not supposed to say anything, but I can reveal that Dave’s plans will brilliantly modify the multistage rocket as we know it”, grinned the scientist, before slipping back into his lab with a cheeky wink.

Dave’s next move certainly isn’t written in the stars, but our source smiles as he gazes firmly at the cosmos and recalls what Dave had said of his future plans. “The man’s remarkable. He said that next he wants to turn his hand to discovering for certain whether the compound used to block cholesterol could also kill breast cancer cells. Either that or do a panto in Worcestershire”.


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