Paxman Reloaded

Turns out old Jezza P’s cartoon files were almost as old as the arched-eyebrowed man himself and have been forever abolished from the internet. Their shattered fragments have been lovingly restored to the condition which once garnered over ten hits in one day.


Unreal t-shirt offer!

Here at the Meat Counter, we like to show our fan some appreciation now and again. Just for you, we’ve teamed up with online clothing behemoth and are excited to announce an unreal offer on some of the most downright hilarious t shirts on the internet! Normally retailing at no less than £7.99, one of these five designs can be yours for as little as five pounds! To claim your unreal t-shirt, simply send cash your cash, cheques or postal orders to:

Unreal T Shirt Offer
The Meat counter
PO Box 1966
No return address necessary.

Got Meat? Issue 1 pdf now available.

Ok ladies and gents,

The long lost PDF of the hard copy of the Meat Counter has finally resurfaced. Inhibitive laser jet costs amounting to more than five pounds meant that many of you weren’t lucky enough not to get your grimy hands on one of those 30 copies carelessly printed and stapled together one balmy october night. Your big day has finally arrived.

12 pages of non stop zany whackiness featuring brand new work just too damned ugly to be featured on this blog.

Pat Butcher, Len Goodman, R Kelly, Quizzes, Bill Oddie, a fez and much, much more!


Pat Ditches Lobes for Labia


Newsround Man “Listened to Own Voicemail”

Pals may have been comforting former Newsround host and Solihull native Lizo Mzimba yesterday evening after The Meat Counter obtained information implicating him as the latest party to be involved in an incident of accessing phone messages.

In a twist however, it has emerged that the Solihullian raconteur, who each day battles bravely against a debilitating fear of serpents, may have targeted and listened in on his own personal messages. Messages left for he and he alone.

A staple of weekday afternoons for over a decade, the man from Solihull had drifted through as many as three jobs prior to his Newround appointment, including a spell as a hospital porter, and admits to the impossibility of picking the most embarrassing moment of his life as these have been “too numerous to mention”.

A close confidant who met Mzimba, of Solihull, on earth has rubbished suggestions that any self-surveillance was either publicity stunt to regenerate public interest in the Star Wars fanatic or a cry for help.

The chum insisted that “leaving Newsround meant quite the reduction in terms of action for Solihull’s favourite son. He could have just been checking to see if his agent had phoned with any new work when he lent his ear to those messages. Knowing Lizo there was no malice intended, and there is certainly no evidence of foul play”.

Full Story To Follow

Excuesive! John Virgo’s Biography Serialised

Hank Funk, The Filthy Monk

Here’s a picture of a monk about to eat a dog turd. Click on it to make it BIGGER. Cheers